Squashing Creativity - It's silly!!
I watched a TED talk after reading Rachel Allen Woods blog post from this course and I am SO glad I did, it really pulled together a few thoughts I had about what I may want to research as there is just so much that arises when looking at your art, your history, other peoples thoughts and discussions; where do yous stop and say okay I will choose this to looks at. But this helped, a lot!
I started thinking about creativity and what it is and how it's hard to explain, which lead to the misunderstandings of it in society; My family have actually been very supportive but I remember my dad having to 'have a chat' with my drama teacher at my youth theatre to ask if he thinks I could actually 'have what it takes" and from then on he has been my biggest fan to be fair, but he still had to check. This thought also stemmed from the torturous, period of my life - auditioning for Drama School and the effect that someones words can have on you. After getting to the last round soooo many times (I named myself 'waiting list girl') GSA pulled me aside and said there was something 'wrong' with my voice, which started a spiral of negativity and horror that I could not do the job I wanted; I went to an ENT specialist who said I don't have nodules (which would have been easier, as they could just get taken out and problem solved) they said I have 'hour glass shaped vocal chords' which means air is released a lot easier than normal from the top and bottom, creating an 'airy, husky' quality to my voice and therefore resulting in my previous musical theatre dreams, dead in the water. However by then I knew I wanted to be an actor more-so anyway. This horrified me and I became obsessed with 'solving it' I had speech therapy; until the doctor said I don't really know why your here (everyone else had 'real' issues like could not speak, or spoke extremely quietly or were recovering from an accident) but this 'thing i had' became so big that I really though there was something 'wrong with me' - until I (finally) got onto the LAMDA foundation course and my voice teacher told me that there is nothing wrong with it, it's unique - it's a bit like having a wonky spine or one arm longer than the other - I can use it to my advantage and work with what I have- It is not a career killer.
This links back to the TED talk about Education killing Creativity and how just one person/ institution (that I perceived as gods word) nearly killed mine. We are all too scared to 'be wrong' if you are too scared to be wrong then we cannot come up with anything original. Children are so important to look at, they don't have boundaries and the institutionalised idea that being wrong is bad. Drama school was a strange mix of teachers constantly telling you 'to take risks' 'get out of your head' and it was a brilliant way to play and experiment and find different ways to learn through your body or my 'practicing' and not just learning through books, The chance to spend a whole year doing that, working out the different ways to learn and express yourself. However the energy and viewpoints of an institution like drama school can make the practice hard to achieve and I felt the pressure and constant probing/ criticism/ looking at yourself critically quite hard to balance. I was too scared to be wrong. I used t hate the feedback 'Take more risks' because I didn't know how!
I did not know how to take more risks and be more playful- I think the world is also afraid to take risks and change the education system and look at the 'other-side' of learning creatively. If this happened we could be a much richer world, and maybe a happier one.
I have a lot more to add to this and think most of this and my continued research will be one of my 'areas of learning topics' for the essay.... what an inspiring TED Talk!!
I started thinking about creativity and what it is and how it's hard to explain, which lead to the misunderstandings of it in society; My family have actually been very supportive but I remember my dad having to 'have a chat' with my drama teacher at my youth theatre to ask if he thinks I could actually 'have what it takes" and from then on he has been my biggest fan to be fair, but he still had to check. This thought also stemmed from the torturous, period of my life - auditioning for Drama School and the effect that someones words can have on you. After getting to the last round soooo many times (I named myself 'waiting list girl') GSA pulled me aside and said there was something 'wrong' with my voice, which started a spiral of negativity and horror that I could not do the job I wanted; I went to an ENT specialist who said I don't have nodules (which would have been easier, as they could just get taken out and problem solved) they said I have 'hour glass shaped vocal chords' which means air is released a lot easier than normal from the top and bottom, creating an 'airy, husky' quality to my voice and therefore resulting in my previous musical theatre dreams, dead in the water. However by then I knew I wanted to be an actor more-so anyway. This horrified me and I became obsessed with 'solving it' I had speech therapy; until the doctor said I don't really know why your here (everyone else had 'real' issues like could not speak, or spoke extremely quietly or were recovering from an accident) but this 'thing i had' became so big that I really though there was something 'wrong with me' - until I (finally) got onto the LAMDA foundation course and my voice teacher told me that there is nothing wrong with it, it's unique - it's a bit like having a wonky spine or one arm longer than the other - I can use it to my advantage and work with what I have- It is not a career killer.
This links back to the TED talk about Education killing Creativity and how just one person/ institution (that I perceived as gods word) nearly killed mine. We are all too scared to 'be wrong' if you are too scared to be wrong then we cannot come up with anything original. Children are so important to look at, they don't have boundaries and the institutionalised idea that being wrong is bad. Drama school was a strange mix of teachers constantly telling you 'to take risks' 'get out of your head' and it was a brilliant way to play and experiment and find different ways to learn through your body or my 'practicing' and not just learning through books, The chance to spend a whole year doing that, working out the different ways to learn and express yourself. However the energy and viewpoints of an institution like drama school can make the practice hard to achieve and I felt the pressure and constant probing/ criticism/ looking at yourself critically quite hard to balance. I was too scared to be wrong. I used t hate the feedback 'Take more risks' because I didn't know how!
I did not know how to take more risks and be more playful- I think the world is also afraid to take risks and change the education system and look at the 'other-side' of learning creatively. If this happened we could be a much richer world, and maybe a happier one.
I have a lot more to add to this and think most of this and my continued research will be one of my 'areas of learning topics' for the essay.... what an inspiring TED Talk!!
I really enjoyed this post as it is something that I'm sure many of us who went to drama school can relate to. I have found statements such as 'take more risks' very difficult to interpret in my life, as I have always been told HOW to do something. I feel many institutions teach children directly how to do something without allowing them to explore it first - this then makes it very difficult for them when they grow up as they have lost their ability to explore and just want to be shown exactly how to achieve it. I found when starting the BAPP course, I wanted direct answers on how to achieve what they were asking of me. I had to learn that there in no direct 'how' and it's all about exploring and the journey to get there! It's scary but more rewarding when you come to an 'answer' through your own exploration.
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